My husband feels it is a higher/advanced level of adab to wear a headcovering (eg, scarf) at home. He feels doing so is more modest and brings greater blessings into the home through one’s modesty. He thinks I should wear headcovering even in seclusion with no visitors or non-mahrams. I have no objections to doing this if evidence or proof of this is presented as I wish to obey my husband. From my studies I have found no evidence of women being required or even recommended to keep on hijab at home. My husband says I will not find evidence of this because it is adab and therefore more subtle – not from Quran and Sunnah. My husband is from Pakistan and I am concerned that this is actually a cultural practice and that there is no recommendation/benefit from my doing so. I am happy to do it to please him but I am equally very keen to follow true Islam without cultural norms being mistaken for such. Could you please confirm if covering at home is more inline with the principle of haya.
All praise is due to Allah.
What is required of all Muslims is to adhere to the pristine guidance of the Shari’ah of Islam, in accordance to what was revealed to us in the Qur’an, and the Sunnah, as explained by the Ulema.
Allah Most High has ordained the hijab as a means of protecting society from falling into Zina and licientious behavior. Allah Most High says:
وَلْيَضْرِبْنَ بِخُمُرِهِنَّ عَلَى جُيُوبِهِنَّ وَلَا يُبْدِينَ زِينَتَهُنَّ إِلَّا لِبُعُولَتِهِنَّ أَوْ آبَائِهِنَّ أَوْ آبَاءِ بُعُولَتِهِنَّ أَوْ أَبْنَائِهِنَّ أَوْ أَبْنَاءِ بُعُولَتِهِنَّ أَوْ إِخْوَانِهِنَّ أَوْ بَنِي إِخْوَانِهِنَّ أَوْ بَنِي أَخَوَاتِهِنَّ أَوْ نِسَائِهِنَّ أَوْ مَا مَلَكَتْ أَيْمَانُهُنَّ أَوِ التَّابِعِينَ غَيْرِ أُولِي الْإِرْبَةِ مِنَ الرِّجَالِ أَوِ الطِّفْلِ الَّذِينَ لَمْ يَظْهَرُوا عَلَى عَوْرَاتِ النِّسَاءِ
“(And tell the believing women) that they should draw their khimaars (hijab) over their bosoms and not display their beauty except to their husbands, their fathers, their husband’s fathers, their sons, their husbands’ sons, their brothers or their brothers’ sons, or their sisters’ sons, or their women, or the slaves whom their right hands possess, or male servants free of physical needs, or small children who have no sense of the shame of sex;”
Our sentimental feelings have no bearing on the Shari’ah of Allah, rather we must brush them aside. Likewise, when cultural practices contradict the religious rulings of Islam, we must leave them aside. Do we think that we are better then the Mothers of the Believers, and the early generations of Muslims, none of whom made the claim that always wearing hijab at home was a praisworthy action?
It is feared that such feelings are a type of extremism, whereby one obligates upon oneself or others what the Shari’ah has not obligated, and rather has made easy.
At the same time, we recommend that you do not let this type of disagreement create a rift in your family life. If you can manage to avoid argumentation with your husband on this subject, it is better for you. You can try to politely change the subject. If you try to let others advise him in a wise and gentle way, this would be better.
At the same time, try to make effort to educate your family and children about the Shari’ah of Islam, and bring beneficial knowledge into your home. Try to sit together and have ta’leem and learn from the Ulema and scholars of Islam, and increase your Fiqh in the religion, and impart it on your family. Make sure that your children are raised upon the Tawheed of Allah and the Sunnah of the Messenger, may peace and blessings be upon him.
I ask that Allah Most High rectify your affairs, and with Him is all success. And Allah knows best.