What role does Allah have in marriage? Based on what I know,
humans have free choice. Does that free choice extend to who we
choose as a bride or does Allah decide who we marry?
My brother’s marriage was arranged by my dad. My brother is educated
but his wife is not as educated. He argues with my dad saying he chose
his and it’s his fault (sorry, I hope you are following me.) But my
dad argues that it was Allah’s decision? I understand nothing can be
done to reverse the marriage but who is right in this case.
Is marriage decided for us ahead of time?


Praises are to Allah, and peace be upon prophet Muhammed.

Walaikum salam wrb honorable brother,

When looking at the choices that humans make, and the choice that
Allah has destined, the choice of humans is a complete subset of Allah’s
choice. As Allah says in the Quran:

{ وَمَا تَشَآءُونَ إِلَّآ أَن يَشَآءَ ٱللَّهُ رَبُّ ٱلۡعَـٰلَمِينَ }

“And you do not will, except that Allâh wills, the Lord of the ‘Alamîn
(all that exists).” Surah Taqwir (29)

It is not correct to think a person’s will is opposite of what
Allah willed for the ‘Alamin.

Something that is destined by Allah, is bound to occur, and
everything in the universe leans towards and tends to follow
that destiny. What Allah destined will occur, and nothing
can change the destiny of Allah.

Allah has made all the events that occur in the universe in perfect
order and according to His laws. Allah makes the truth endure, and
the falsehood washes away like the foam in the ocean. There is nothing
in disarray or disorder, it is rather people who are ignorant of the
decree of Allah.

The solution to family problems is to
make sure that the ilm is inculcated in the lives of the whole
family. Bringing the whole family to the durus in the masjid;
seeking and asking and listening to the answers of the rulings.
It is incumbent on everyone to devote themselves to
the ilm and the ulema, so that they learn about Allah’s decree, and
know about the afterlife. If there is someone that is not educated,
one can become educated by studying and learning from our noble
ulema and imams. All that is required is that one have an eagerness
and devotion to learn. After spending time learning from our noble
ulema and imams, one would indeed be of the most educated
people of the world.

And Allah knows.

Shaikh Sajid

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