Can I be a second wife?


 Can my muslim boyfriend take me as a second wife even though I am nonmuslim. I have pronounced Shahada and I am studying Islam.


According to the Islamic law, marriage is a contract that makes it legal for a man to have sexual relations with a woman. The marriage should be intended to be permanent, and the man has to support his wife and family financially providing for all her food and living expenses, and treating her with kindness. It is not allowed for anyone to have sexual relations except through a valid marriage.  It is not allowed for anyone to have sexual relations with anyone else besides their valid spouse.

       The Islamic law aims to keep a long term attachment between a man and woman, including financially, not meaningless and worthless relations. It is incumbant on all human beings to learn and  follow the commandments of Allah (God), not their feelings.  These are the commandments of Allah, and it is not allowed to say anything  bad about them, or make mockery of them.  It is not allowed to “sell” Allah’s commandments for a lowly wordly gain.   

      The regulations of marriage, conveyed to us by our noble scholars of the past, are explained in detail on this site. There are many beneficial audio lectures under the section “Fiqh of Marriage”.  I would encourage you to listen to them, and continue to learn about Islam, regardless of how it turns out with your muslim friend.   

      To answer your question, according to most of the Islamic scholars of the past, if you are a Christian or Jewish,  it would be allowed for him marry you, and take you as a second permanent wife, and he would have to provide for and treat you equally with his first wife.  Be sure to listen to the lectures.

And Allah knows.

Shaikh Sajid

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